Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
