She is in my trunk
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
