thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
