I'm gonna have a badass scar
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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