shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I will be naked everywhere
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.