Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world