I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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