I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
