oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Semen is not good for contacts.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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