Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
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