he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Two words: blizzard sex
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
God, I missed his penis.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
