Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
