I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
