Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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