Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
