my phone cant type all the emotion im having
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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