So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I looked at my own cervix.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
