Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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