would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
