New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
