this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
