hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
