some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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