I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
