Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
