White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
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