There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
