I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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