Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Randomize
