How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
