He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
The air taste purple.
Randomize