So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize