got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
