ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
