You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
