We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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