whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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