just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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