It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
