you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
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