you guys were way drunker than both of me
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
