Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
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Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
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Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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