it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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