And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
