whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
