your parents love me but you hate me
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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