You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
