mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
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Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
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you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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