It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
