dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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