Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
