Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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