Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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