oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
