no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
