new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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