Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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