Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
organizing the empties. That sober.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
