I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
