This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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