just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
He better not be in your backpack
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
