There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
