its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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